If most of you knew what time it is you would probably be saying, “Why in the world are you still up?” but, like most college age humans, we seem to think sleep is for the dead. I’m just kidding! The real reason for me being up at this hour, 2:00 am to be exact, is because my mind seems to race a lot at night and some of my best work is done in the late hours. I also know that I’ve neglected my blog a little lately. I apologize to my readers. It’s just been a little crazy, but now that school is out and finals are over I plan to return, so don’t you worry!
With that being said I have also had some time to look back on this past year and how crazy it honestly has been. I wish I could say that it has been great and just what I expected, but like anything, you cannot expect the unexpected. That is one thing this past year has definitely thrown at me, the unexpected. I lost friends I thought I was close with and could trust. My beloved grandmother, and only living grandparent, ended her battle with Alzheimer’s. I had to battle it out with a slight relapse of mental illness along with other crazy events. I let most of these things go unseen and only told those closest to me what was happening in my life. Looking back though, I realize how much stronger of a person I have become and how my life has changed in such a positive way.
Instead of dwelling on all of my problems, and getting down and out, I turned to the Lord. I prayed, forgave, and moved on. Once I finally came to the realization my friend dynamics were not the same I allowed myself to open up to new people and grow closer in more positive and Christ rooted relationships. I found friendships that will most likely last a lifetime and I cannot wait to see how they will continue to grow. Like they say “you have to let go and let God.” By the middle of my second semester I had done an almost complete 360. I had a wonderful spring break in the Dominican Republic doing the Lord’s work, I was accepted to a summer mission in Alaska, and my studies were going great. To this day I am at such a great place in my life. I do still have my moments, but God is so good!!
What I want you all to get out of this is that no matter what you are going through, God has given it to you for a reason. He also will never give you more than you can handle. He is truly amazing and so powerful. That is why I choose to live my life truly for him. I realized that I need to stop worrying so much about what others think, because the only opinion that really matters is the Lord’s. Far too often we try really hard to please others and make them happy while neglecting/forfeiting our own happiness.
This past year I realized, I cannot please everyone. I found ways to turn my negatives into positives and use them to grow not only as a person, but also spiritually. As hard as this past year was, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I cherish my new friendships, I reminisce on the times I had with my grandmother before her passing, and I continue to forgive those who did me wrong. Life is too short to remain unhappy, so I take each day as it comes and with as positive of an outlook as I can. It’s definitely not easy and takes hard work, but with God by my side anything is possible.